new diseases

Janey left me a voice message about something she heard on the radio. That something pertaining to birds and their shit. Bird shit that has some form of chlamydia in it.

I walked out to my car after work tonight only to find a big blop of bird shit on the driver's side window. Or, should I say a big blop of sexually transmitted bird disease.

It's almost as if they (the birds) knew. Knew how much horror I was in upon hearing the new news of their diseased shit from Janey. Like the BF always tells me "they (the birds) can smell your fear."

Then for a brief minute, I ventured into uncharted territory. Yes I did. I wondered what sex with a bird would be like. Then I barfed. Literally. My mouth went sour and I choked on my own spit. My spit started to taste like feathers--not that I actually know what feathers taste like.

Now, I go and take shower. I take shower with bleach.

on an un-related bird note: Casino Royale starring my boo DAniel Craig came out on DVD today. Went to future shop: sold out, went to best buy: sold out, went to london drugs: sold out. muthafuka i was in a bad mood. my brother comes home with the dvd, which he bought for me from blockbuster. i hearts my little brother.