Which self is the "kewl" one?

I'm not an awesome writer and writing does not come naturally for me. It is actually really painful and hurting and scares the beegeezees out of me. The feedback I get from most of my profs, in terms of writing strength, is the researcher reflexivity that I bring to my writing and my papers. My thesis supervisor keeps reminding me how important epistemological location is, especially so in the field of CYC and he's trying to encourage me to focus on the reflexivity when I'm stuck. So as I'm moving along trying to write stuff that makes sense and trying to be all smart and shiet, I wonder which one of my "selves" plays out the most: the research-based self (grad student, witness, interpreter, writer, observer), the brought self (the elements of self-identity that place me at a particular social, cultural and political location) or the situationally created self (shaped by the research process itself).

I don't know. And I don't know which one is the kewler of the three. The last one intrigues me the most because it's the only one I can't predict or control so it MUST be kewl. 'Tis life and as Mr. Walsh of biology 11 once said to me: "choose your own destiny". Yeah, ok. Whatever.