new diseases
Janey left me a voice message about something she heard on the radio. That something pertaining to birds and their shit. Bird shit that has some form of chlamydia in it.
I walked out to my car after work tonight only to find a big blop of bird shit on the driver's side window. Or, should I say a big blop of sexually transmitted bird disease.
It's almost as if they (the birds) knew. Knew how much horror I was in upon hearing the new news of their diseased shit from Janey. Like the BF always tells me "they (the birds) can smell your fear."
Then for a brief minute, I ventured into uncharted territory. Yes I did. I wondered what sex with a bird would be like. Then I barfed. Literally. My mouth went sour and I choked on my own spit. My spit started to taste like feathers--not that I actually know what feathers taste like.
Now, I go and take shower. I take shower with bleach.
on an un-related bird note: Casino Royale starring my boo DAniel Craig came out on DVD today. Went to future shop: sold out, went to best buy: sold out, went to london drugs: sold out. muthafuka i was in a bad mood. my brother comes home with the dvd, which he bought for me from blockbuster. i hearts my little brother.
I walked out to my car after work tonight only to find a big blop of bird shit on the driver's side window. Or, should I say a big blop of sexually transmitted bird disease.
It's almost as if they (the birds) knew. Knew how much horror I was in upon hearing the new news of their diseased shit from Janey. Like the BF always tells me "they (the birds) can smell your fear."
Then for a brief minute, I ventured into uncharted territory. Yes I did. I wondered what sex with a bird would be like. Then I barfed. Literally. My mouth went sour and I choked on my own spit. My spit started to taste like feathers--not that I actually know what feathers taste like.
Now, I go and take shower. I take shower with bleach.
on an un-related bird note: Casino Royale starring my boo DAniel Craig came out on DVD today. Went to future shop: sold out, went to best buy: sold out, went to london drugs: sold out. muthafuka i was in a bad mood. my brother comes home with the dvd, which he bought for me from blockbuster. i hearts my little brother.
posted by vtnn at 8:00 PM
1 Comments:
The part that grossed me out the most about the radio thing was the warning that people should not let their pet birds peck at their mouths because this could help transmit the bird-clamydia. First of all, WHO THE FUCK lets a bird peck its beak on your mouth (SHUDDER/GAG)?! Secondly,{SHUDDER/GAG} how does clyamida get on bird beak? Do they eat their own {SHUDDER/GAG} shit??
Excuse me, I have to go puke.
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